Listening is an important value to me, it is also one I struggle with daily. While I do my best to listen to my children, other people I am in a conversation with, listening to myself (my body, my intuition, my conscience), and listening to the Divine; I often have trouble giving my full attention to any one of these areas because another area is always speaking at the same time. If you've ever seen the movie Bruce Almighty, it reminds me of the scene where Jim Carrey hears all of the prayers of people in the area all at once, and he is unable to concentrate on the people he is with, his own thoughts or even single any one of those prayers out. A one on one conversation is easy to give full attention to, but start adding additional "voices" to the mix and it can quickly become a jumbled mess.
When multitasking listening skills, it is easy to miss out on so many important details; body language to help with the full story, and hidden messages written between the lines. I'm one of those people who have a hard time slowing down to truly appreciate these important details, but I'm getting better at it. One thing I am thankful for is that I don't have a cell phone tying me down. I'm not saying that having a cell phone is bad, however I have yet to go out to run an errand and not see some one talking or texting while their kids are trying to tell them something. While a child's words may not always be important (sometimes they are very much!) the attention we give them is. I find that I really must emphasize here that just because I observe someone on a cell phone does not mean that they are on it all the time, or that they miss messages all the time. I appreciate that what I observe may be a one time deal, or an emergency, but we can't deny that not every person on a cell phone is doing so because it's an emergency. Being able to put the cell phone down, helps us reduce just one more distraction.
I am not perfect, I do not claim to be, I have my issues too. I may not have a cell phone, but my downfall is my computer. When I am home I am either blogging, keeping up with friends on the dreaded Facebook or doing homework. While I do spend time gathering homeschooling materials for my kids, I know I need to shut this dang computer down and go play with them. Luckily this post spoke to me, and through the writing of this I have shut down the computer to play with the kids. Which is why it has taken me a week to write it!
Speaking of my kids, I remember one story in particular. Life with a brand new baby and a toddler, who wasn't even two years old yet. I cannot tell you how amazing my older daughter is. She adjusted to life with a new sister extremely well. She wanted attention, but she shared her Mommy and Daddy gracefully. This only made it that much easier to give the baby all of the attention she needed...which, of course, led us to give a bit less attention to our toddler who was used to getting 100% attention from us. On one particular day my toddler was giving me hints that she wanted more attention. She was trying to climb in my lap while the baby was eating, she kept bringing me toys so I could see how great they were, she was pulling on my arm, poking at my leg and every attempt for attention was met with "that's great honey, as soon as the baby is done *eating, changing diaper, putting down for nap, burping, bathing, etc* then I'll have some special time with you. Finally she couldn't take it any more. She stepped back and let out one solitary, forceful, scream at me. It wasn't a temper tantrum, it was the only way she knew how to express her frustration with me and it surprised both of us. It seemed like she hadn't expected to do it, she just opened her mouth and out it came. That was the message I needed, I felt horrible for pushing her away. I put the baby down and ignored the crying to pick up my toddler to hug, kiss and comfort her. She only wanted a snuggle to let her know she was still loved. When we don't listen to the little messages often we will be given a big message to make the point.
In the case of kids, if you listen to them, I've found they are a lot more well behaved (this is not a fool proof plan though, kids will always have their moments). This message of listening also plays into other areas. If you listen to your body, it will give you signs of when it needs attention. There will always be little signs of stress to head off before you blow up. Mother nature gives us signs about how we are treating out world. If we don't listen to the little stuff, the big stuff starts coming out of the woodwork as it builds up. There is always something to listen for. Learning how to pick out what is important is a hard part of this that I'm struggling with, but I'm getting better. Maybe part of this is building intuition. Part of it could be getting priorities straight in life. A big part of it is being okay with letting go of the multitasking part of our lives and taking the time to reflect on ourselves, our families, our friends and our Spirit.
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