I was thinking as I wrote my last post that I need some type of visualization that I can quickly do to help remind me to refocus and this is what I came up with. I actually think this has been done many times over, but I find it appropriate here and the image is just sticking in my head, so here we go.
When stressed and you literally feel like the weight and energy of the stress is weighing down on your shoulders until you look somewhat like Atlas carrying the Earth on his back, it may be time to refocus that energy. While this visualization is not the end, and doing it only once probably won't be enough, it is something quick to do to bring you back to a more positive, and self based perspective.
First of all, visualize that stress as a huge boulder on your back, it is so heavy, no wonder your back hurts and your neck and shoulders are tight. You've probably been carrying this for awhile and it's time to get rid of it. Close your eyes and visualize yourself bending your knees a bit with a good stance with feet a little more than shoulder width apart. Visualize taking your hands and getting them to fit under that boulder on your shoulders. Next spring up from the bent knees and use that momentum to help you use your hands and arms to propel that boulder off your shoulders and back to the mountain side where it belongs. Once you've done that, take a quick look at the mountain you threw that boulder back to. It wasn't so big after all, actually, you can easily see over the top of it! Now that you've done this once, you'll be able to do it again, and hopefully it will get easier to throw that boulder to the side each time you need it.
I can see a lot being done with this imagry, so I'll work on it. If I come up with any additions to it, or meditations I'll let you know. But I can already tell you that my back feels somewhat better after doing this, and I do have that feeling of a weight being lifted off my shoulders. I hope this works for you, if not, tweak it or move on to something else. If you have ideas for additions to this or variations, I'd love to hear them, just leave them in the comments!
Bright Blessings,
~Ava
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Take a Deep Breath...Now Refocus That Energy!
For those of you who know me personally, you know I'm working towards a Masters degree in Psychology. If you know this, you probably also know I am a stay at home mom, I am the spouse of a currently deployed soldier and I am at wits end with my Statistics "professor." All of these things equal out to STRESS!! I'm not naive enough to think I'm the only one with stress, or that I'm the only one in my type of situation with stress, or that there isn't some one (many someone's) out there with more stress than me...I know all of these things are true. However, knowing they are true for other people does not reduce the fact that my stress is there for me and it is my responsibility to diffuse it somehow. Ah, the old self responsibility value, going strong here, maybe a little too strong as I try to take responsibility for everything imaginable that comes to me, lol.
This past week has been a nightmare, not the worst nightmare I've ever had, but enough to catch me with a short fuse, and unfortunately those in closest proximity get the worst of the explosion (I can't apoligize to my children enough! We've talked about how wrong Mommy has been for the way she has acted and I vowed to find a new way to express my frustration; a lesson I talk with my children a lot about when it comes to tantrums...I throw big ones too). So, here's the deal, with the high level of stress, it makes the small things seem to be mountains, and the only thing I'm hearing is "you can't do this!!" However, that's my voice and no one else's, in fact, everyone else is screaming with confidence "YOU CAN DO THIS!!!" Goes to show you how easy it is to hear things when they are close, this is another reason why self responsibility is so important! The more I've told myself "I can't" the more I've believed myself and the more down I've gotten. The more down I've gotten, the more the stress builds (all that pressure coming down on my shoulders), the more the stress builds the more I find things wrong in every situation, and the more I find things wrong in every situation the more negative I get...and you see where this horrible cycle is going.
How on earth am I going to get myself out of this cycle!! Well for starters, let's see what I can do about stress. Is there anything I can remove from my life? *looks around room, checks day planner, mental inventory of activities* No, nothing I can remove. Since I can't remove anything I need to do something about organizing and managing it better. If anything I need to add more things to my planner. What's that you say? Am I crazy? An already full planner causing immense amounts of stress and you want to add things! Yep. I guess I am crazy. I never denied that, however, I promise you, what I'm going to add will actually save me time and sanity. What I need to add is a little something people refer to as "me time." Yep, you heard me right. I need to squeeze some time in every day to do what I want to do. This me time cannot include Facebook or pointless games. I suppose blogging will be okay, but it can't be about anything but something I WANT to write about, and it can't be negative (which I try not to be). Once I add in some me time, I should find that I am happier and more productive. This will be a huge stress reliever. Both because it will give me a chance to relax and also because it will make me more productive, which means getting more of the clutter cleared out (mental, emotional and physical).
In other words, I need to refocus my energy on the positive and not the negative. Here is one way I am doing that. Remember that Statistics professor I mentioned? He hasn't been a good teacher, and I'll give him the benefit of the doubt, that maybe, just maybe something is going on in his life causing this. So, rather than my perception of him get me down and let it affect me, I'm going to do the best I can with what I have. Therefore, I'm going to work my butt off and still get an A in the class, even if he doesn't help me out with it! Now, this plan is a little late since I'm on finals week for the class, but it's a lesson learned. Refocus the energy from a negative to a positive. I built up so much energy worried about what he was going to do, that I failed to put just as much or more energy into what I was actually doing. This is how people and situations can consume you if you let them. Take control of your life and don't let other people lead you around by the ear. You are responsible for you. I'll be practicing refocusing my energy, I hope you'll give it a try too if you need it.
Brightest Blessings,
~Ava
This past week has been a nightmare, not the worst nightmare I've ever had, but enough to catch me with a short fuse, and unfortunately those in closest proximity get the worst of the explosion (I can't apoligize to my children enough! We've talked about how wrong Mommy has been for the way she has acted and I vowed to find a new way to express my frustration; a lesson I talk with my children a lot about when it comes to tantrums...I throw big ones too). So, here's the deal, with the high level of stress, it makes the small things seem to be mountains, and the only thing I'm hearing is "you can't do this!!" However, that's my voice and no one else's, in fact, everyone else is screaming with confidence "YOU CAN DO THIS!!!" Goes to show you how easy it is to hear things when they are close, this is another reason why self responsibility is so important! The more I've told myself "I can't" the more I've believed myself and the more down I've gotten. The more down I've gotten, the more the stress builds (all that pressure coming down on my shoulders), the more the stress builds the more I find things wrong in every situation, and the more I find things wrong in every situation the more negative I get...and you see where this horrible cycle is going.
How on earth am I going to get myself out of this cycle!! Well for starters, let's see what I can do about stress. Is there anything I can remove from my life? *looks around room, checks day planner, mental inventory of activities* No, nothing I can remove. Since I can't remove anything I need to do something about organizing and managing it better. If anything I need to add more things to my planner. What's that you say? Am I crazy? An already full planner causing immense amounts of stress and you want to add things! Yep. I guess I am crazy. I never denied that, however, I promise you, what I'm going to add will actually save me time and sanity. What I need to add is a little something people refer to as "me time." Yep, you heard me right. I need to squeeze some time in every day to do what I want to do. This me time cannot include Facebook or pointless games. I suppose blogging will be okay, but it can't be about anything but something I WANT to write about, and it can't be negative (which I try not to be). Once I add in some me time, I should find that I am happier and more productive. This will be a huge stress reliever. Both because it will give me a chance to relax and also because it will make me more productive, which means getting more of the clutter cleared out (mental, emotional and physical).
In other words, I need to refocus my energy on the positive and not the negative. Here is one way I am doing that. Remember that Statistics professor I mentioned? He hasn't been a good teacher, and I'll give him the benefit of the doubt, that maybe, just maybe something is going on in his life causing this. So, rather than my perception of him get me down and let it affect me, I'm going to do the best I can with what I have. Therefore, I'm going to work my butt off and still get an A in the class, even if he doesn't help me out with it! Now, this plan is a little late since I'm on finals week for the class, but it's a lesson learned. Refocus the energy from a negative to a positive. I built up so much energy worried about what he was going to do, that I failed to put just as much or more energy into what I was actually doing. This is how people and situations can consume you if you let them. Take control of your life and don't let other people lead you around by the ear. You are responsible for you. I'll be practicing refocusing my energy, I hope you'll give it a try too if you need it.
Brightest Blessings,
~Ava
Monday, June 13, 2011
Family Values
One thing I agree with whole-heartedly is the separation of church and state. One thing I disagree with whole-heartedly is separation of "church" and family. Before anyone gets up in arms and chastises me for alienating people who are not religious, who are Athiest or who have made the personal choice to not introduce their children to religion until they are older; I'm not against any of those things. They are all personal choices, and I respect them all, and frankly, they all can fit nicely into what I am about to say. In actuality, we have made the decision to expose our children to as many different religious paths as possible so they can learn to explore other cultures and choose the faith that best suits them, but now I'm getting away from my point.
Let me clarify my very brief statement above. When I say I disagree with separation of church and family, I mean that in my personal faith, not yours or anyone else's, my religion and my spirituality are a part of my everyday life, all day long, everyday. Through the day I make sure my actions match the spiritual teachings of my faith, and if it comes down to me "acting" or doing the opposite of my teachings, then I explore the reasons why I am not fully embracing the spiritual lesson. Because I practice my faith in everything I do, meaning it is a lifestyle, my family is involved, both directly and indirectly. As a stay at home mom, how can my faith and religion not touch my family, my children? They are with me almost 24/7, we plan to homeschool and keep me home with the kids as long as possible. If I were to separate these two portions of my life I would be neglecting one or the other. Both are important, and both can be lived together.
Being involved in my family is a strong value of mine. It is important for me to instill good morals and values in my children, and those morals and values include teaching them to question the norm, explore the world and often, as much as I hate to admit it, disagreeing with me and forming their own opinions and choices. If I am not practicing my faith daily, I am not fully experiencing my lifestyle choice. I don't know if all Pagans embrace this value, or even all people. I'm sure there are other critiques of this point of view, but it works for me. I look at the past, the cultures and our ancestors who lived before us and I can see how spirituality and myth was incorporated into so many details of the day. I am inspired by the past, and I find no reason to shield my children from anything spiritual. It will enhance their life by being aware of the many teachings of the world, and I only find good in that.
My family is important to me, my spirituality and religion are important to me. There is no reason why I need to separate them, and I full embrace taking these two separate circles of my life and converging them into one. Sort of like a marriage of sorts.
Bright Blessings,
~Ava
Let me clarify my very brief statement above. When I say I disagree with separation of church and family, I mean that in my personal faith, not yours or anyone else's, my religion and my spirituality are a part of my everyday life, all day long, everyday. Through the day I make sure my actions match the spiritual teachings of my faith, and if it comes down to me "acting" or doing the opposite of my teachings, then I explore the reasons why I am not fully embracing the spiritual lesson. Because I practice my faith in everything I do, meaning it is a lifestyle, my family is involved, both directly and indirectly. As a stay at home mom, how can my faith and religion not touch my family, my children? They are with me almost 24/7, we plan to homeschool and keep me home with the kids as long as possible. If I were to separate these two portions of my life I would be neglecting one or the other. Both are important, and both can be lived together.
Being involved in my family is a strong value of mine. It is important for me to instill good morals and values in my children, and those morals and values include teaching them to question the norm, explore the world and often, as much as I hate to admit it, disagreeing with me and forming their own opinions and choices. If I am not practicing my faith daily, I am not fully experiencing my lifestyle choice. I don't know if all Pagans embrace this value, or even all people. I'm sure there are other critiques of this point of view, but it works for me. I look at the past, the cultures and our ancestors who lived before us and I can see how spirituality and myth was incorporated into so many details of the day. I am inspired by the past, and I find no reason to shield my children from anything spiritual. It will enhance their life by being aware of the many teachings of the world, and I only find good in that.
My family is important to me, my spirituality and religion are important to me. There is no reason why I need to separate them, and I full embrace taking these two separate circles of my life and converging them into one. Sort of like a marriage of sorts.
Bright Blessings,
~Ava
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Grounding and Centering Meditation
Last night I was alone in the physical for my healing circle for my friend, but I know I was not alone in spirit. I know there are many people praying for her and I will continue to offer my home on Saturday nights for anyone who wants to come share in the prayers with me.
Last night I did a simple chakra grounding and centering meditation that I adapted to my own needs from Robin Wood's website. I enjoy her visual of utilizing the notes on the scale to achieve my centering when it is just me, for the group I would much rather do something a bit less musical because my voice does not quite have the best pitch any more and I would rather people be at peace when centering then tensing up and cringing at my off key renditions of the scale! Once I find a good scale that I can use, either on a tuned piano (which mine is needing very much!) or even a good online format that moves slow enough to match what I need, then I will incorporate the music more. For now, I eliminated that part and substituted lighting of candles corresponding to the chakra colors.
As I sat and meditated, I found this to be very powerful and I was able to feel the energy flowing strong and free. After awhile I picked up my Earth meditation beads and said some short quick prayers on each as I moved through them.
I was happy with the way this meditation turned out and I am excited to do it again. I am also happy to have found a new method of centering, which seems to be much more effective than my previous methods.
Bright Blessings!
~Ava
Last night I did a simple chakra grounding and centering meditation that I adapted to my own needs from Robin Wood's website. I enjoy her visual of utilizing the notes on the scale to achieve my centering when it is just me, for the group I would much rather do something a bit less musical because my voice does not quite have the best pitch any more and I would rather people be at peace when centering then tensing up and cringing at my off key renditions of the scale! Once I find a good scale that I can use, either on a tuned piano (which mine is needing very much!) or even a good online format that moves slow enough to match what I need, then I will incorporate the music more. For now, I eliminated that part and substituted lighting of candles corresponding to the chakra colors.
As I sat and meditated, I found this to be very powerful and I was able to feel the energy flowing strong and free. After awhile I picked up my Earth meditation beads and said some short quick prayers on each as I moved through them.
I was happy with the way this meditation turned out and I am excited to do it again. I am also happy to have found a new method of centering, which seems to be much more effective than my previous methods.
Bright Blessings!
~Ava
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
The Wiccan Rede and Values
I posted a while ago that I no longer identify as a Wiccan. There is no problem with the religion or beliefs of the Wiccan faith, it's just that my personal beliefs have evolved to something a bit different that doesn't exactly fit into the realms of Wicca anymore. One thing that I haven't lost though, is my love for the ethic of the Wiccan Rede. An it harm none, do as thou will. I don't want to get into an analysis of this phrase, so if you are interested in more information (please see John Coughlin's wonderful analysis of this ethic).
That brings me to my first point, the Rede is an ethic, is it really a value of mine? An ethic, simply put, is a moral, a view of what is right or wrong. A value, on the other hand, is something we put worth to, not necessarily monetary or material worth, but a personal worth in spirit and in life, some weighted more heavily important than others. Therefore, it is within my interpretation of the Rede (an ethic) that I find many of my own personal values.
One of the more important values I find in the Rede is that of self-responsibility. This is something I am teaching my kids early on; that we must be responsible for our own actions. If we are not responsible for them, who will be? The Rede points this out when it tells us to think about if what we are going to do will harm anyone. If we have fully thought about all of the possible consequences of our actions and determined it will not harm anyone (ourselves included), then we are free to do it. However, if we find something is important to do, but it will harm someone in someway, then the guidelines of the Rede stop here. At this point we need to take responsibility to explore other ethics and laws to determine if proceeding is still the best thing to do and if we are willing to live with the consequences of our actions which may be harm to ourselves or others. This is where things get sticky, and again, I'm not here to discuss the in's and outs of the Rede. So, I will leave the discussion here and say, this is why taking self responsibility in our actions is so important. Everything we do can effect someone, somewhere that we may not even know. If someone is hurt as a result of our actions, we need to do what we can to make it right. No one else should be expected to fix our wrongs.
Another value is consideration for other people and things. This flows right from the previous point of self responsibility. Not only should we be responsible for our own actions and take into consideration how our action will affect another, but we should also take into consideration how our inaction may affect someone. I sometimes think I'm too considerate. Because of this exaggerated consideration for others I often ask too many questions to make sure other people affected by my choices are not offended and okay with the choices I'm making. Some considerations are of more importance than others, but I still hold consideration of others feelings and needs very highly, and sometimes above my own feelings and needs (which is something I need to work on in finding balance). While the Rede doesn't flat out mention inaction, I like to think it hints at it, because if we choose not to act, that is still the act of not choosing, which may harm someone.
Taking care in the actions we take part of is a value I find in the Rede. Again, this value flows directly from the previous points. If we do decide to do something we are taking responsibility for the consequences and we are considering how it will affect other people, but we shouldn't stop there. We should also take care to do things correctly. A long time ago I had the chance to learn a bit of Eastern Psychology under a Zen Buddhist monk. I remember his demeanor was interesting because he had a strong adherence to rules and expectations with little room for error, yet he taught how to take care and pay attention to everything that was done to make sure it was done with the most attention possible. If an action was important enough to do, it should be done with care. This is a great message. It makes me think of all the projects I got tired of and either quit or half assed until they were finished. Were they really that important to me? I'm guessing not or I would have taken care to do them to the best of my abilities. When we take care in the actions we do, we are showing respect and appreciation, in addition to responsibility and consideration. I think this is very important, and it really does help me to step back and reassess what is important in my life.
I also see the value freedom within limits held in the Rede, as hinted at above. Now the first thing I want to address is it seems like I am placing a boundary on the freedoms everyone asserts they have, however, everything we do is freedom within limits. We set limits by the laws we obey, the rules we follow, the social norms we practice, and the ethics we adhere to. I accept this value as higher on my value continuum for the simple fact that if everyone had freedom to do everything they wanted without limits, chaos would very quickly take over. Not to mention someone else's freedom would start infringing on another person's freedom and I'm quite sure the end result would not be pretty. Even within limits we find much arguing over who is right and who should be allowed to do what. Sadly I see a lot of "his leg is on my side of the car!" type bickering among people, communities and cultures.
While I appreciate these limits to freedom to an extent, I also recognize that we are all human, humans are not perfect, therefore the limits that we have created are not always perfect. The experiences we have in life often dictate what we find important or of value, and sometimes through life we find out the things that others find valuable and learn to embrace those too. With this thought, our values either change or evolve, and we have the ability to change our laws, rules, social norms and morals to match.
There are so many things the Wiccan Rede gives me. Not only is it an ethic I can follow, but it also shares with me the importance of so many values that I hold near and dear to my heart. Just in the few values I briefly touched on in this post I can see how our values overlap and connect to each other. Often more than one value is held within a concept, and many times one leads to another. In the next month, and probably longer, I'm going to explore some of the other ethics I follow, Pagan or just cultural. I'm going to study them to see if there are any other values contained within their words and teachings. I look forward to the lessons I will learn (education, something else I place high value on).
Bright Blessings
~Ava
That brings me to my first point, the Rede is an ethic, is it really a value of mine? An ethic, simply put, is a moral, a view of what is right or wrong. A value, on the other hand, is something we put worth to, not necessarily monetary or material worth, but a personal worth in spirit and in life, some weighted more heavily important than others. Therefore, it is within my interpretation of the Rede (an ethic) that I find many of my own personal values.
One of the more important values I find in the Rede is that of self-responsibility. This is something I am teaching my kids early on; that we must be responsible for our own actions. If we are not responsible for them, who will be? The Rede points this out when it tells us to think about if what we are going to do will harm anyone. If we have fully thought about all of the possible consequences of our actions and determined it will not harm anyone (ourselves included), then we are free to do it. However, if we find something is important to do, but it will harm someone in someway, then the guidelines of the Rede stop here. At this point we need to take responsibility to explore other ethics and laws to determine if proceeding is still the best thing to do and if we are willing to live with the consequences of our actions which may be harm to ourselves or others. This is where things get sticky, and again, I'm not here to discuss the in's and outs of the Rede. So, I will leave the discussion here and say, this is why taking self responsibility in our actions is so important. Everything we do can effect someone, somewhere that we may not even know. If someone is hurt as a result of our actions, we need to do what we can to make it right. No one else should be expected to fix our wrongs.
Another value is consideration for other people and things. This flows right from the previous point of self responsibility. Not only should we be responsible for our own actions and take into consideration how our action will affect another, but we should also take into consideration how our inaction may affect someone. I sometimes think I'm too considerate. Because of this exaggerated consideration for others I often ask too many questions to make sure other people affected by my choices are not offended and okay with the choices I'm making. Some considerations are of more importance than others, but I still hold consideration of others feelings and needs very highly, and sometimes above my own feelings and needs (which is something I need to work on in finding balance). While the Rede doesn't flat out mention inaction, I like to think it hints at it, because if we choose not to act, that is still the act of not choosing, which may harm someone.
Taking care in the actions we take part of is a value I find in the Rede. Again, this value flows directly from the previous points. If we do decide to do something we are taking responsibility for the consequences and we are considering how it will affect other people, but we shouldn't stop there. We should also take care to do things correctly. A long time ago I had the chance to learn a bit of Eastern Psychology under a Zen Buddhist monk. I remember his demeanor was interesting because he had a strong adherence to rules and expectations with little room for error, yet he taught how to take care and pay attention to everything that was done to make sure it was done with the most attention possible. If an action was important enough to do, it should be done with care. This is a great message. It makes me think of all the projects I got tired of and either quit or half assed until they were finished. Were they really that important to me? I'm guessing not or I would have taken care to do them to the best of my abilities. When we take care in the actions we do, we are showing respect and appreciation, in addition to responsibility and consideration. I think this is very important, and it really does help me to step back and reassess what is important in my life.
I also see the value freedom within limits held in the Rede, as hinted at above. Now the first thing I want to address is it seems like I am placing a boundary on the freedoms everyone asserts they have, however, everything we do is freedom within limits. We set limits by the laws we obey, the rules we follow, the social norms we practice, and the ethics we adhere to. I accept this value as higher on my value continuum for the simple fact that if everyone had freedom to do everything they wanted without limits, chaos would very quickly take over. Not to mention someone else's freedom would start infringing on another person's freedom and I'm quite sure the end result would not be pretty. Even within limits we find much arguing over who is right and who should be allowed to do what. Sadly I see a lot of "his leg is on my side of the car!" type bickering among people, communities and cultures.
While I appreciate these limits to freedom to an extent, I also recognize that we are all human, humans are not perfect, therefore the limits that we have created are not always perfect. The experiences we have in life often dictate what we find important or of value, and sometimes through life we find out the things that others find valuable and learn to embrace those too. With this thought, our values either change or evolve, and we have the ability to change our laws, rules, social norms and morals to match.
There are so many things the Wiccan Rede gives me. Not only is it an ethic I can follow, but it also shares with me the importance of so many values that I hold near and dear to my heart. Just in the few values I briefly touched on in this post I can see how our values overlap and connect to each other. Often more than one value is held within a concept, and many times one leads to another. In the next month, and probably longer, I'm going to explore some of the other ethics I follow, Pagan or just cultural. I'm going to study them to see if there are any other values contained within their words and teachings. I look forward to the lessons I will learn (education, something else I place high value on).
Bright Blessings
~Ava
Monday, June 6, 2011
Lemon, Mint, Lavender Healing Water
Use intuition for the measurements, you'll know what works best for your intent.
Ingredients:
Fresh lemon slices
Fresh mint leaves (on stems or not, doesn't matter)
Dried Lavender flowers
Pot of water
Mason Jar with Lid
Procedure:
The best way to enhance this water is to say prayers or chants that are meaningful to your purpose while you work, you can cast a circle if you wish. Fill a stove top pan with water and add the lemon, mint and lavender and boil until there is a nice fragrance coming from the water and the water begins to take on a pinkish color. I used a slotted spoon to scoop out the larger herbs, then I used a coffee filter to strain the rest. This worked great because the lavender won't get through, but watch out for the filter to break on you. This happened to me.
To use, add the water to a bath and meditate on it's intentions. If you are not using the water right away, store it in the refrigerator for no more than 3 to 5 days.
Properties:
Please do your own research on the herbs, there may be additional metaphysical properties that I haven't listed.
Lemon: longevity, purification, energy
Mint: healing, protection, refresh
Lavender: sleep, protection, longevity, purification, happiness, peace, relaxation, calming nerves
Waffles, Ice Cream and Spirit
I read somewhere, in an article about coping when a military spouse is deployed, that it is okay to have waffles and ice cream for dinner. So what does this mean? Because my spouse is gone, it's okay to not eat so good? It's okay to not care about my kids nutrition? Or even that maybe it's the only thing that tastes good, so nah.
Well, while I wouldn't put complete truths into anything but that last one (my healthy cooking always tastes good!), the truth of the matter is, it's okay not to get everything done. It's okay to be mellow. It's okay to take a day or two during the week and not feel the need to prepare a hot dinner that takes an hour or so to make (that's the norm when I cook). Hey, this statement doesn't even stop at food. It's okay not to have the house white glove clean. It's okay to skip the vacuuming for just one day (or two or three). What about the laundry. As long as everyone has something clean to wear, it will still be there tomorrow.
Who is watching this Martha Stewart life I'm attempting to create for myself? I have yet to catch my neighbors peering into my house through the grime on the windows. The friends I do have who come over don't seem to mind, and if they do, they keep their mouth shut. I've even had friends come over and help me out a bit with the cleaning (thanks guys, you have no idea how much I appreciate it!). Sometimes I need to be given permission not to be perfect (far from it I am!). If you ask my husband, he will tell you I am perfect the way I am, even if I do think I have flaws (I do), he looks right past them.
While I don't want to live in a pig pen, I also don't want to spend all of my life cleaning my house or caring about those little things that really don't matter in the end. I want to spend my time with the things that do matter. I want to play with my kids, read the great words written by others, explore my hobbies and talents, try new things and just enjoy life. If you spend all of your time worrying about what other people think of your house, even though the majority of them will never see it, that seems to be a waste of time and a hard knock on the spirit.
I say, recognize when a day just needs to be a lazy day and run with it. If that means waffles and ice cream for dinner, then it's waffles and ice cream for dinner. I'm sure your spirit will thank you.
Well, while I wouldn't put complete truths into anything but that last one (my healthy cooking always tastes good!), the truth of the matter is, it's okay not to get everything done. It's okay to be mellow. It's okay to take a day or two during the week and not feel the need to prepare a hot dinner that takes an hour or so to make (that's the norm when I cook). Hey, this statement doesn't even stop at food. It's okay not to have the house white glove clean. It's okay to skip the vacuuming for just one day (or two or three). What about the laundry. As long as everyone has something clean to wear, it will still be there tomorrow.
Who is watching this Martha Stewart life I'm attempting to create for myself? I have yet to catch my neighbors peering into my house through the grime on the windows. The friends I do have who come over don't seem to mind, and if they do, they keep their mouth shut. I've even had friends come over and help me out a bit with the cleaning (thanks guys, you have no idea how much I appreciate it!). Sometimes I need to be given permission not to be perfect (far from it I am!). If you ask my husband, he will tell you I am perfect the way I am, even if I do think I have flaws (I do), he looks right past them.
While I don't want to live in a pig pen, I also don't want to spend all of my life cleaning my house or caring about those little things that really don't matter in the end. I want to spend my time with the things that do matter. I want to play with my kids, read the great words written by others, explore my hobbies and talents, try new things and just enjoy life. If you spend all of your time worrying about what other people think of your house, even though the majority of them will never see it, that seems to be a waste of time and a hard knock on the spirit.
I say, recognize when a day just needs to be a lazy day and run with it. If that means waffles and ice cream for dinner, then it's waffles and ice cream for dinner. I'm sure your spirit will thank you.
Listen With Your Eyes, Ears and Heart
Listening is an important value to me, it is also one I struggle with daily. While I do my best to listen to my children, other people I am in a conversation with, listening to myself (my body, my intuition, my conscience), and listening to the Divine; I often have trouble giving my full attention to any one of these areas because another area is always speaking at the same time. If you've ever seen the movie Bruce Almighty, it reminds me of the scene where Jim Carrey hears all of the prayers of people in the area all at once, and he is unable to concentrate on the people he is with, his own thoughts or even single any one of those prayers out. A one on one conversation is easy to give full attention to, but start adding additional "voices" to the mix and it can quickly become a jumbled mess.
When multitasking listening skills, it is easy to miss out on so many important details; body language to help with the full story, and hidden messages written between the lines. I'm one of those people who have a hard time slowing down to truly appreciate these important details, but I'm getting better at it. One thing I am thankful for is that I don't have a cell phone tying me down. I'm not saying that having a cell phone is bad, however I have yet to go out to run an errand and not see some one talking or texting while their kids are trying to tell them something. While a child's words may not always be important (sometimes they are very much!) the attention we give them is. I find that I really must emphasize here that just because I observe someone on a cell phone does not mean that they are on it all the time, or that they miss messages all the time. I appreciate that what I observe may be a one time deal, or an emergency, but we can't deny that not every person on a cell phone is doing so because it's an emergency. Being able to put the cell phone down, helps us reduce just one more distraction.
I am not perfect, I do not claim to be, I have my issues too. I may not have a cell phone, but my downfall is my computer. When I am home I am either blogging, keeping up with friends on the dreaded Facebook or doing homework. While I do spend time gathering homeschooling materials for my kids, I know I need to shut this dang computer down and go play with them. Luckily this post spoke to me, and through the writing of this I have shut down the computer to play with the kids. Which is why it has taken me a week to write it!
Speaking of my kids, I remember one story in particular. Life with a brand new baby and a toddler, who wasn't even two years old yet. I cannot tell you how amazing my older daughter is. She adjusted to life with a new sister extremely well. She wanted attention, but she shared her Mommy and Daddy gracefully. This only made it that much easier to give the baby all of the attention she needed...which, of course, led us to give a bit less attention to our toddler who was used to getting 100% attention from us. On one particular day my toddler was giving me hints that she wanted more attention. She was trying to climb in my lap while the baby was eating, she kept bringing me toys so I could see how great they were, she was pulling on my arm, poking at my leg and every attempt for attention was met with "that's great honey, as soon as the baby is done *eating, changing diaper, putting down for nap, burping, bathing, etc* then I'll have some special time with you. Finally she couldn't take it any more. She stepped back and let out one solitary, forceful, scream at me. It wasn't a temper tantrum, it was the only way she knew how to express her frustration with me and it surprised both of us. It seemed like she hadn't expected to do it, she just opened her mouth and out it came. That was the message I needed, I felt horrible for pushing her away. I put the baby down and ignored the crying to pick up my toddler to hug, kiss and comfort her. She only wanted a snuggle to let her know she was still loved. When we don't listen to the little messages often we will be given a big message to make the point.
In the case of kids, if you listen to them, I've found they are a lot more well behaved (this is not a fool proof plan though, kids will always have their moments). This message of listening also plays into other areas. If you listen to your body, it will give you signs of when it needs attention. There will always be little signs of stress to head off before you blow up. Mother nature gives us signs about how we are treating out world. If we don't listen to the little stuff, the big stuff starts coming out of the woodwork as it builds up. There is always something to listen for. Learning how to pick out what is important is a hard part of this that I'm struggling with, but I'm getting better. Maybe part of this is building intuition. Part of it could be getting priorities straight in life. A big part of it is being okay with letting go of the multitasking part of our lives and taking the time to reflect on ourselves, our families, our friends and our Spirit.
When multitasking listening skills, it is easy to miss out on so many important details; body language to help with the full story, and hidden messages written between the lines. I'm one of those people who have a hard time slowing down to truly appreciate these important details, but I'm getting better at it. One thing I am thankful for is that I don't have a cell phone tying me down. I'm not saying that having a cell phone is bad, however I have yet to go out to run an errand and not see some one talking or texting while their kids are trying to tell them something. While a child's words may not always be important (sometimes they are very much!) the attention we give them is. I find that I really must emphasize here that just because I observe someone on a cell phone does not mean that they are on it all the time, or that they miss messages all the time. I appreciate that what I observe may be a one time deal, or an emergency, but we can't deny that not every person on a cell phone is doing so because it's an emergency. Being able to put the cell phone down, helps us reduce just one more distraction.
I am not perfect, I do not claim to be, I have my issues too. I may not have a cell phone, but my downfall is my computer. When I am home I am either blogging, keeping up with friends on the dreaded Facebook or doing homework. While I do spend time gathering homeschooling materials for my kids, I know I need to shut this dang computer down and go play with them. Luckily this post spoke to me, and through the writing of this I have shut down the computer to play with the kids. Which is why it has taken me a week to write it!
Speaking of my kids, I remember one story in particular. Life with a brand new baby and a toddler, who wasn't even two years old yet. I cannot tell you how amazing my older daughter is. She adjusted to life with a new sister extremely well. She wanted attention, but she shared her Mommy and Daddy gracefully. This only made it that much easier to give the baby all of the attention she needed...which, of course, led us to give a bit less attention to our toddler who was used to getting 100% attention from us. On one particular day my toddler was giving me hints that she wanted more attention. She was trying to climb in my lap while the baby was eating, she kept bringing me toys so I could see how great they were, she was pulling on my arm, poking at my leg and every attempt for attention was met with "that's great honey, as soon as the baby is done *eating, changing diaper, putting down for nap, burping, bathing, etc* then I'll have some special time with you. Finally she couldn't take it any more. She stepped back and let out one solitary, forceful, scream at me. It wasn't a temper tantrum, it was the only way she knew how to express her frustration with me and it surprised both of us. It seemed like she hadn't expected to do it, she just opened her mouth and out it came. That was the message I needed, I felt horrible for pushing her away. I put the baby down and ignored the crying to pick up my toddler to hug, kiss and comfort her. She only wanted a snuggle to let her know she was still loved. When we don't listen to the little messages often we will be given a big message to make the point.
In the case of kids, if you listen to them, I've found they are a lot more well behaved (this is not a fool proof plan though, kids will always have their moments). This message of listening also plays into other areas. If you listen to your body, it will give you signs of when it needs attention. There will always be little signs of stress to head off before you blow up. Mother nature gives us signs about how we are treating out world. If we don't listen to the little stuff, the big stuff starts coming out of the woodwork as it builds up. There is always something to listen for. Learning how to pick out what is important is a hard part of this that I'm struggling with, but I'm getting better. Maybe part of this is building intuition. Part of it could be getting priorities straight in life. A big part of it is being okay with letting go of the multitasking part of our lives and taking the time to reflect on ourselves, our families, our friends and our Spirit.
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Grounding and Prayer Circle
I've mentioned once or twice before that I have a friend who is fighting cancer. She is in an acceptance stage, but the acceptance is in the terms of "everyone dies sometime, no one gets out alive." I respect her for taking the news and communicating it to friends and family so gracefully, however I don't want her to give in too easily.
Weekly a group of spiritual friends are gathering at my house to send prayers and energies to our friend with a focus on energy that is needed. Another of our friends has looked cancer in the eyes and kicked it's ass to the curb, so I am leaning on her to help guide us to a focus that will be most beneficial based on our friends unique needs. Our first circle was held last night, and the focus was grounding.
I've never been a good prayer writer, other than my own casual prayers I say daily, so I did a bit of searching. I was unable to find any Pagan prayers that met our needs, so I found some prayers from other religions and reworded them to fit our focus. I have included my adapted prayers below. Once we called the quarters we began the circle with a guided meditation for grounding. I felt this was appropriate, because how can you you send someone else grounded energy if you are not grounded yourself. Again, I am not good at writing meditations, so I used this Tree of Life Meditation after a search online.
Our circle went well, and I hope we can continue sending positive, supportive, beneficial energies to her when she needs them. We plan on her being here for a long time, and won't give in without a strong fight!
Prayers:
Earth my body, water my blood, Air my breath and Fire my spirit
We welcome the elements of the directions, we thank you for your presense as we send our healing and grounding energies to our spirit sister, (insert name here). Hail and Welcome.
~Altered from well known Pagan chant to a specific focus quarter call.
*************
Goddess Mother
Nuturer
Healer
We come to you seeking help
Help to rid of these nasty cells
they have forgotten what their purpose is
they have lost their health
restore the health
destroy the sickness
heal
Find the healthy cells
Find them and guide them
Guide them to destroy the sick cells
Put chaos in it's place.
Remove it from this body
Remove it from the cells
Help the body heal
This we ask of you, Mother
So mote it be.
~by Luna Skye
*************
Lord and Lady, You invite all who are burdened to come to you. Allow Your healing Hand to heal our dearest (insert name here). Touch her soul with Your compassion and help to keep her grounded and strong. Touch her heart with Your courage and infinite Love. Touch her mind with Your Wisdom and inspirational breath. Most loving Heart of the Divine, bring health in body and spirit to (insert name here) as she fights this great battle to reclaim her body. Touch gently this life which you have impressed you message upon, now and forever.
Blessed Be.
*************
Lord and Lady, look upon our friend, our sister, (insert name here), with eyes of mercy, may your healing hand rest upon her, may your life giving powers flow into every cell of her body and into the depths of her soul, cleansing, purifying, grounding and restoring her to wholeness and strength. Blessed Be.
************
Nurturing Mother and Healing Father, by the power of your love, drive away from (insert name here) all forms of sickness and disease. Restore strength and stability to her body and joy and grounding to her spirit. Bless her with your masterful touch as she has touched many with the love you have graced her life with.
Blessed Be.
Weekly a group of spiritual friends are gathering at my house to send prayers and energies to our friend with a focus on energy that is needed. Another of our friends has looked cancer in the eyes and kicked it's ass to the curb, so I am leaning on her to help guide us to a focus that will be most beneficial based on our friends unique needs. Our first circle was held last night, and the focus was grounding.
I've never been a good prayer writer, other than my own casual prayers I say daily, so I did a bit of searching. I was unable to find any Pagan prayers that met our needs, so I found some prayers from other religions and reworded them to fit our focus. I have included my adapted prayers below. Once we called the quarters we began the circle with a guided meditation for grounding. I felt this was appropriate, because how can you you send someone else grounded energy if you are not grounded yourself. Again, I am not good at writing meditations, so I used this Tree of Life Meditation after a search online.
Our circle went well, and I hope we can continue sending positive, supportive, beneficial energies to her when she needs them. We plan on her being here for a long time, and won't give in without a strong fight!
Prayers:
Earth my body, water my blood, Air my breath and Fire my spirit
We welcome the elements of the directions, we thank you for your presense as we send our healing and grounding energies to our spirit sister, (insert name here). Hail and Welcome.
~Altered from well known Pagan chant to a specific focus quarter call.
*************
Goddess Mother
Nuturer
Healer
We come to you seeking help
Help to rid of these nasty cells
they have forgotten what their purpose is
they have lost their health
restore the health
destroy the sickness
heal
Find the healthy cells
Find them and guide them
Guide them to destroy the sick cells
Put chaos in it's place.
Remove it from this body
Remove it from the cells
Help the body heal
This we ask of you, Mother
So mote it be.
~by Luna Skye
*************
Lord and Lady, You invite all who are burdened to come to you. Allow Your healing Hand to heal our dearest (insert name here). Touch her soul with Your compassion and help to keep her grounded and strong. Touch her heart with Your courage and infinite Love. Touch her mind with Your Wisdom and inspirational breath. Most loving Heart of the Divine, bring health in body and spirit to (insert name here) as she fights this great battle to reclaim her body. Touch gently this life which you have impressed you message upon, now and forever.
Blessed Be.
*************
Lord and Lady, look upon our friend, our sister, (insert name here), with eyes of mercy, may your healing hand rest upon her, may your life giving powers flow into every cell of her body and into the depths of her soul, cleansing, purifying, grounding and restoring her to wholeness and strength. Blessed Be.
************
Nurturing Mother and Healing Father, by the power of your love, drive away from (insert name here) all forms of sickness and disease. Restore strength and stability to her body and joy and grounding to her spirit. Bless her with your masterful touch as she has touched many with the love you have graced her life with.
Blessed Be.
Friday, June 3, 2011
What About the Pagan Values Project
This is a new concept to me. While I've been a casual, personal blogger for a few years, I've never been active in the blogging communities. I'm slowly breaking in by reading some blogs and reaching out and commenting. Putting my thoughts out there, challenging opinions and being challenged right back. The philosopher in me is in heaven. Recently I heard about the Pagan Values Project. I did a little investigating and found that this is the third year from the project. I also found while there are many people who have embraced this project as a great discussion forum to share beliefs and opinions, challenge their own thoughts and inspire others, there is a population of people who disagree with the project and feel it's intent is to put a border around "Pagan Values" and define what "Pagans" should believe. I personally do not believe this is the intent of the project at all.
To me, this project is about communication. Communication is a personal value of my own, and I also think this is a value of every religion and spiritual path in some way or another. As my own personal value, I look at communication the way to help others understand each other. Whether that be understanding what we need done, how to work together, expectations, expressing feelings; we need communication and this is why I value it so highly. There is an art to communication, sometimes simple as in communicating our basic needs, other times more complicated, such as communicating how depression affects us. As a value held by religions and spiritual paths, communication may be the value people use to identify with communicating with the Divine. Through prayer, ritual, meditation, observation, or any other method. We communicate with the Divine to express our needs, our gratitude, our love, our desires, our celebrations and any other connection we make with the Divine. To me, this project is a great example of a value held by many, Pagan or not. Communication is just one value this project promotes, but there are other such as community, differences, tolerance, Deity and many more.
I do not expect that every Pagan conforms to every value another Pagan has. Rather I look at values as belonging on a continuum. At one end is where a person finds little value to the attribute, on the other end is where a person finds great value to the attribute. There will be some values that many, if not all, Pagans identify with. I do not think that there should be a boundary placed around these values, but it is a great starting place to help answer the question of "what do Pagan's believe?" I also acknowledge that because we are not placing boundaries around what "Pagan Values" are, it means we know that we are ever evolving. There will always be growth, and this project helps to promote this growth, both on a personal, individual level, as well as growth among the Pagan community itself. Personal growth is another value that I hold higher up on the continuum of values, and I'm sure there are many people who feel the same way.
Defining values as belonging to "Pagans" or "Christians" is another argument I've noticed as I browsed through some discussions of values. My view on this is that a value by definition is an attribute or belief held by a specific culture. There is Pagan culture and there is Christian culture, as well as hundreds of other religions who have their own culture also. When someone identifies something as "XXXX Value" it does not mean they are laying ownership to that value, only that it is found within a grouping of values held by many of that culture. This means that the same value can overlap among several different religions or spiritual paths. It is important to understand this designation because there may be some values that are shared, but some values that are not shared. This is just another way to categorize things. For the blogging world, you might compare it to tagging. One blog post may be tagged with 1, 2 and 3. And the next tagged with 2, 4, and 6. Both blogs hold the tag of 2, but the other tags are a difference between them. It doesn't mean one is better than the other, just that there are similarities and differences. This is another value I hold, celebrating the similarities and differences among all people. Multiculturalism is a great thing and it is being more widely accepted everyday.
These are just a few of my points supporting this project and I think it will be a great forum for discussion to build and celebrate our similarities and differences.
Bright Blessings,
~Ava
To me, this project is about communication. Communication is a personal value of my own, and I also think this is a value of every religion and spiritual path in some way or another. As my own personal value, I look at communication the way to help others understand each other. Whether that be understanding what we need done, how to work together, expectations, expressing feelings; we need communication and this is why I value it so highly. There is an art to communication, sometimes simple as in communicating our basic needs, other times more complicated, such as communicating how depression affects us. As a value held by religions and spiritual paths, communication may be the value people use to identify with communicating with the Divine. Through prayer, ritual, meditation, observation, or any other method. We communicate with the Divine to express our needs, our gratitude, our love, our desires, our celebrations and any other connection we make with the Divine. To me, this project is a great example of a value held by many, Pagan or not. Communication is just one value this project promotes, but there are other such as community, differences, tolerance, Deity and many more.
I do not expect that every Pagan conforms to every value another Pagan has. Rather I look at values as belonging on a continuum. At one end is where a person finds little value to the attribute, on the other end is where a person finds great value to the attribute. There will be some values that many, if not all, Pagans identify with. I do not think that there should be a boundary placed around these values, but it is a great starting place to help answer the question of "what do Pagan's believe?" I also acknowledge that because we are not placing boundaries around what "Pagan Values" are, it means we know that we are ever evolving. There will always be growth, and this project helps to promote this growth, both on a personal, individual level, as well as growth among the Pagan community itself. Personal growth is another value that I hold higher up on the continuum of values, and I'm sure there are many people who feel the same way.
Defining values as belonging to "Pagans" or "Christians" is another argument I've noticed as I browsed through some discussions of values. My view on this is that a value by definition is an attribute or belief held by a specific culture. There is Pagan culture and there is Christian culture, as well as hundreds of other religions who have their own culture also. When someone identifies something as "XXXX Value" it does not mean they are laying ownership to that value, only that it is found within a grouping of values held by many of that culture. This means that the same value can overlap among several different religions or spiritual paths. It is important to understand this designation because there may be some values that are shared, but some values that are not shared. This is just another way to categorize things. For the blogging world, you might compare it to tagging. One blog post may be tagged with 1, 2 and 3. And the next tagged with 2, 4, and 6. Both blogs hold the tag of 2, but the other tags are a difference between them. It doesn't mean one is better than the other, just that there are similarities and differences. This is another value I hold, celebrating the similarities and differences among all people. Multiculturalism is a great thing and it is being more widely accepted everyday.
These are just a few of my points supporting this project and I think it will be a great forum for discussion to build and celebrate our similarities and differences.
Bright Blessings,
~Ava
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Little By Little
There is a song on the kids radio station that I hear frequently. It's called Little by Little, by Dean Jones and Jerrice Baptiste. The song is about a little bird building a nest, little by little. For a kids song, this image has a lot of meaning to me. There are so many things in my life that I want right now. When I was a kid I didn't want to practice piano, I wanted to be able to play it correctly right now. As I got older I didn't want to waste my time gaining valuable experience to better myself at my work in order to be promoted, I figured I was good enough now and wanted a promotion now.
Now, now, now, NOW!
Through meditations, experiences and just taking time to slow down a bit from the fast pace of life I have learned that maybe this little by little theory is right. Little by little I learn how to live and implement a healthy life so I can lose the extra pounds I put on slowly. I put the weight on slowly, why should I expect to lose it fast? Little by little I am getting my house clean and organized. While much of my mess happened slowly (the tornado damaged caused by my whirlwind children is a rather quick mess), I can't expect to get it clean and organized quickly.
The same concept goes for building a strong relationship with the Divine and cleaning up any emotional or spiritual messes. It will happen if you work diligently, little by little. I have lived by the concept for a long time that we need to build a relationship with the Divine. You can't expect to sit down and pray once and know all the messages and ins and outs of the Divine just like that. It takes time, little by little we get to know the Divine and how messages are sent to us, how prayers are answered (sometimes by being unanswered) and how we can spread love and compassion wherever we go. This isn't something that we will suddenly know, it takes practice and work.
As we get to know the Divine and build a relationship, we can start to clean up those emotional and spiritual messes that occur through our lives. Don't worry, everyone has them. Everyone's "mess" is a bit different, but it can all be sorted out, fixed and cleaned up through the Spirit. Please note, that sometimes the spiritual message is to get help from a third party...the Divine will help those who help themselves! These messes come in the form of guilt, depression, jealousy, hurt, sometimes even love and kindness can create a mess, believe it or not. While spirituality is not the only path to healing these "messes", for a spiritual person, it is a great place to start.
However, never forget that lesson of the little bird. Little by little.
Blessings,
~Ava
Now, now, now, NOW!
Through meditations, experiences and just taking time to slow down a bit from the fast pace of life I have learned that maybe this little by little theory is right. Little by little I learn how to live and implement a healthy life so I can lose the extra pounds I put on slowly. I put the weight on slowly, why should I expect to lose it fast? Little by little I am getting my house clean and organized. While much of my mess happened slowly (the tornado damaged caused by my whirlwind children is a rather quick mess), I can't expect to get it clean and organized quickly.
The same concept goes for building a strong relationship with the Divine and cleaning up any emotional or spiritual messes. It will happen if you work diligently, little by little. I have lived by the concept for a long time that we need to build a relationship with the Divine. You can't expect to sit down and pray once and know all the messages and ins and outs of the Divine just like that. It takes time, little by little we get to know the Divine and how messages are sent to us, how prayers are answered (sometimes by being unanswered) and how we can spread love and compassion wherever we go. This isn't something that we will suddenly know, it takes practice and work.
As we get to know the Divine and build a relationship, we can start to clean up those emotional and spiritual messes that occur through our lives. Don't worry, everyone has them. Everyone's "mess" is a bit different, but it can all be sorted out, fixed and cleaned up through the Spirit. Please note, that sometimes the spiritual message is to get help from a third party...the Divine will help those who help themselves! These messes come in the form of guilt, depression, jealousy, hurt, sometimes even love and kindness can create a mess, believe it or not. While spirituality is not the only path to healing these "messes", for a spiritual person, it is a great place to start.
However, never forget that lesson of the little bird. Little by little.
Blessings,
~Ava
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