One thing I agree with whole-heartedly is the separation of church and state. One thing I disagree with whole-heartedly is separation of "church" and family. Before anyone gets up in arms and chastises me for alienating people who are not religious, who are Athiest or who have made the personal choice to not introduce their children to religion until they are older; I'm not against any of those things. They are all personal choices, and I respect them all, and frankly, they all can fit nicely into what I am about to say. In actuality, we have made the decision to expose our children to as many different religious paths as possible so they can learn to explore other cultures and choose the faith that best suits them, but now I'm getting away from my point.
Let me clarify my very brief statement above. When I say I disagree with separation of church and family, I mean that in my personal faith, not yours or anyone else's, my religion and my spirituality are a part of my everyday life, all day long, everyday. Through the day I make sure my actions match the spiritual teachings of my faith, and if it comes down to me "acting" or doing the opposite of my teachings, then I explore the reasons why I am not fully embracing the spiritual lesson. Because I practice my faith in everything I do, meaning it is a lifestyle, my family is involved, both directly and indirectly. As a stay at home mom, how can my faith and religion not touch my family, my children? They are with me almost 24/7, we plan to homeschool and keep me home with the kids as long as possible. If I were to separate these two portions of my life I would be neglecting one or the other. Both are important, and both can be lived together.
Being involved in my family is a strong value of mine. It is important for me to instill good morals and values in my children, and those morals and values include teaching them to question the norm, explore the world and often, as much as I hate to admit it, disagreeing with me and forming their own opinions and choices. If I am not practicing my faith daily, I am not fully experiencing my lifestyle choice. I don't know if all Pagans embrace this value, or even all people. I'm sure there are other critiques of this point of view, but it works for me. I look at the past, the cultures and our ancestors who lived before us and I can see how spirituality and myth was incorporated into so many details of the day. I am inspired by the past, and I find no reason to shield my children from anything spiritual. It will enhance their life by being aware of the many teachings of the world, and I only find good in that.
My family is important to me, my spirituality and religion are important to me. There is no reason why I need to separate them, and I full embrace taking these two separate circles of my life and converging them into one. Sort of like a marriage of sorts.
Bright Blessings,
~Ava
Showing posts with label Pagan Values. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Pagan Values. Show all posts
Monday, June 13, 2011
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
The Wiccan Rede and Values
I posted a while ago that I no longer identify as a Wiccan. There is no problem with the religion or beliefs of the Wiccan faith, it's just that my personal beliefs have evolved to something a bit different that doesn't exactly fit into the realms of Wicca anymore. One thing that I haven't lost though, is my love for the ethic of the Wiccan Rede. An it harm none, do as thou will. I don't want to get into an analysis of this phrase, so if you are interested in more information (please see John Coughlin's wonderful analysis of this ethic).
That brings me to my first point, the Rede is an ethic, is it really a value of mine? An ethic, simply put, is a moral, a view of what is right or wrong. A value, on the other hand, is something we put worth to, not necessarily monetary or material worth, but a personal worth in spirit and in life, some weighted more heavily important than others. Therefore, it is within my interpretation of the Rede (an ethic) that I find many of my own personal values.
One of the more important values I find in the Rede is that of self-responsibility. This is something I am teaching my kids early on; that we must be responsible for our own actions. If we are not responsible for them, who will be? The Rede points this out when it tells us to think about if what we are going to do will harm anyone. If we have fully thought about all of the possible consequences of our actions and determined it will not harm anyone (ourselves included), then we are free to do it. However, if we find something is important to do, but it will harm someone in someway, then the guidelines of the Rede stop here. At this point we need to take responsibility to explore other ethics and laws to determine if proceeding is still the best thing to do and if we are willing to live with the consequences of our actions which may be harm to ourselves or others. This is where things get sticky, and again, I'm not here to discuss the in's and outs of the Rede. So, I will leave the discussion here and say, this is why taking self responsibility in our actions is so important. Everything we do can effect someone, somewhere that we may not even know. If someone is hurt as a result of our actions, we need to do what we can to make it right. No one else should be expected to fix our wrongs.
Another value is consideration for other people and things. This flows right from the previous point of self responsibility. Not only should we be responsible for our own actions and take into consideration how our action will affect another, but we should also take into consideration how our inaction may affect someone. I sometimes think I'm too considerate. Because of this exaggerated consideration for others I often ask too many questions to make sure other people affected by my choices are not offended and okay with the choices I'm making. Some considerations are of more importance than others, but I still hold consideration of others feelings and needs very highly, and sometimes above my own feelings and needs (which is something I need to work on in finding balance). While the Rede doesn't flat out mention inaction, I like to think it hints at it, because if we choose not to act, that is still the act of not choosing, which may harm someone.
Taking care in the actions we take part of is a value I find in the Rede. Again, this value flows directly from the previous points. If we do decide to do something we are taking responsibility for the consequences and we are considering how it will affect other people, but we shouldn't stop there. We should also take care to do things correctly. A long time ago I had the chance to learn a bit of Eastern Psychology under a Zen Buddhist monk. I remember his demeanor was interesting because he had a strong adherence to rules and expectations with little room for error, yet he taught how to take care and pay attention to everything that was done to make sure it was done with the most attention possible. If an action was important enough to do, it should be done with care. This is a great message. It makes me think of all the projects I got tired of and either quit or half assed until they were finished. Were they really that important to me? I'm guessing not or I would have taken care to do them to the best of my abilities. When we take care in the actions we do, we are showing respect and appreciation, in addition to responsibility and consideration. I think this is very important, and it really does help me to step back and reassess what is important in my life.
I also see the value freedom within limits held in the Rede, as hinted at above. Now the first thing I want to address is it seems like I am placing a boundary on the freedoms everyone asserts they have, however, everything we do is freedom within limits. We set limits by the laws we obey, the rules we follow, the social norms we practice, and the ethics we adhere to. I accept this value as higher on my value continuum for the simple fact that if everyone had freedom to do everything they wanted without limits, chaos would very quickly take over. Not to mention someone else's freedom would start infringing on another person's freedom and I'm quite sure the end result would not be pretty. Even within limits we find much arguing over who is right and who should be allowed to do what. Sadly I see a lot of "his leg is on my side of the car!" type bickering among people, communities and cultures.
While I appreciate these limits to freedom to an extent, I also recognize that we are all human, humans are not perfect, therefore the limits that we have created are not always perfect. The experiences we have in life often dictate what we find important or of value, and sometimes through life we find out the things that others find valuable and learn to embrace those too. With this thought, our values either change or evolve, and we have the ability to change our laws, rules, social norms and morals to match.
There are so many things the Wiccan Rede gives me. Not only is it an ethic I can follow, but it also shares with me the importance of so many values that I hold near and dear to my heart. Just in the few values I briefly touched on in this post I can see how our values overlap and connect to each other. Often more than one value is held within a concept, and many times one leads to another. In the next month, and probably longer, I'm going to explore some of the other ethics I follow, Pagan or just cultural. I'm going to study them to see if there are any other values contained within their words and teachings. I look forward to the lessons I will learn (education, something else I place high value on).
Bright Blessings
~Ava
That brings me to my first point, the Rede is an ethic, is it really a value of mine? An ethic, simply put, is a moral, a view of what is right or wrong. A value, on the other hand, is something we put worth to, not necessarily monetary or material worth, but a personal worth in spirit and in life, some weighted more heavily important than others. Therefore, it is within my interpretation of the Rede (an ethic) that I find many of my own personal values.
One of the more important values I find in the Rede is that of self-responsibility. This is something I am teaching my kids early on; that we must be responsible for our own actions. If we are not responsible for them, who will be? The Rede points this out when it tells us to think about if what we are going to do will harm anyone. If we have fully thought about all of the possible consequences of our actions and determined it will not harm anyone (ourselves included), then we are free to do it. However, if we find something is important to do, but it will harm someone in someway, then the guidelines of the Rede stop here. At this point we need to take responsibility to explore other ethics and laws to determine if proceeding is still the best thing to do and if we are willing to live with the consequences of our actions which may be harm to ourselves or others. This is where things get sticky, and again, I'm not here to discuss the in's and outs of the Rede. So, I will leave the discussion here and say, this is why taking self responsibility in our actions is so important. Everything we do can effect someone, somewhere that we may not even know. If someone is hurt as a result of our actions, we need to do what we can to make it right. No one else should be expected to fix our wrongs.
Another value is consideration for other people and things. This flows right from the previous point of self responsibility. Not only should we be responsible for our own actions and take into consideration how our action will affect another, but we should also take into consideration how our inaction may affect someone. I sometimes think I'm too considerate. Because of this exaggerated consideration for others I often ask too many questions to make sure other people affected by my choices are not offended and okay with the choices I'm making. Some considerations are of more importance than others, but I still hold consideration of others feelings and needs very highly, and sometimes above my own feelings and needs (which is something I need to work on in finding balance). While the Rede doesn't flat out mention inaction, I like to think it hints at it, because if we choose not to act, that is still the act of not choosing, which may harm someone.
Taking care in the actions we take part of is a value I find in the Rede. Again, this value flows directly from the previous points. If we do decide to do something we are taking responsibility for the consequences and we are considering how it will affect other people, but we shouldn't stop there. We should also take care to do things correctly. A long time ago I had the chance to learn a bit of Eastern Psychology under a Zen Buddhist monk. I remember his demeanor was interesting because he had a strong adherence to rules and expectations with little room for error, yet he taught how to take care and pay attention to everything that was done to make sure it was done with the most attention possible. If an action was important enough to do, it should be done with care. This is a great message. It makes me think of all the projects I got tired of and either quit or half assed until they were finished. Were they really that important to me? I'm guessing not or I would have taken care to do them to the best of my abilities. When we take care in the actions we do, we are showing respect and appreciation, in addition to responsibility and consideration. I think this is very important, and it really does help me to step back and reassess what is important in my life.
I also see the value freedom within limits held in the Rede, as hinted at above. Now the first thing I want to address is it seems like I am placing a boundary on the freedoms everyone asserts they have, however, everything we do is freedom within limits. We set limits by the laws we obey, the rules we follow, the social norms we practice, and the ethics we adhere to. I accept this value as higher on my value continuum for the simple fact that if everyone had freedom to do everything they wanted without limits, chaos would very quickly take over. Not to mention someone else's freedom would start infringing on another person's freedom and I'm quite sure the end result would not be pretty. Even within limits we find much arguing over who is right and who should be allowed to do what. Sadly I see a lot of "his leg is on my side of the car!" type bickering among people, communities and cultures.
While I appreciate these limits to freedom to an extent, I also recognize that we are all human, humans are not perfect, therefore the limits that we have created are not always perfect. The experiences we have in life often dictate what we find important or of value, and sometimes through life we find out the things that others find valuable and learn to embrace those too. With this thought, our values either change or evolve, and we have the ability to change our laws, rules, social norms and morals to match.
There are so many things the Wiccan Rede gives me. Not only is it an ethic I can follow, but it also shares with me the importance of so many values that I hold near and dear to my heart. Just in the few values I briefly touched on in this post I can see how our values overlap and connect to each other. Often more than one value is held within a concept, and many times one leads to another. In the next month, and probably longer, I'm going to explore some of the other ethics I follow, Pagan or just cultural. I'm going to study them to see if there are any other values contained within their words and teachings. I look forward to the lessons I will learn (education, something else I place high value on).
Bright Blessings
~Ava
Monday, June 6, 2011
Listen With Your Eyes, Ears and Heart
Listening is an important value to me, it is also one I struggle with daily. While I do my best to listen to my children, other people I am in a conversation with, listening to myself (my body, my intuition, my conscience), and listening to the Divine; I often have trouble giving my full attention to any one of these areas because another area is always speaking at the same time. If you've ever seen the movie Bruce Almighty, it reminds me of the scene where Jim Carrey hears all of the prayers of people in the area all at once, and he is unable to concentrate on the people he is with, his own thoughts or even single any one of those prayers out. A one on one conversation is easy to give full attention to, but start adding additional "voices" to the mix and it can quickly become a jumbled mess.
When multitasking listening skills, it is easy to miss out on so many important details; body language to help with the full story, and hidden messages written between the lines. I'm one of those people who have a hard time slowing down to truly appreciate these important details, but I'm getting better at it. One thing I am thankful for is that I don't have a cell phone tying me down. I'm not saying that having a cell phone is bad, however I have yet to go out to run an errand and not see some one talking or texting while their kids are trying to tell them something. While a child's words may not always be important (sometimes they are very much!) the attention we give them is. I find that I really must emphasize here that just because I observe someone on a cell phone does not mean that they are on it all the time, or that they miss messages all the time. I appreciate that what I observe may be a one time deal, or an emergency, but we can't deny that not every person on a cell phone is doing so because it's an emergency. Being able to put the cell phone down, helps us reduce just one more distraction.
I am not perfect, I do not claim to be, I have my issues too. I may not have a cell phone, but my downfall is my computer. When I am home I am either blogging, keeping up with friends on the dreaded Facebook or doing homework. While I do spend time gathering homeschooling materials for my kids, I know I need to shut this dang computer down and go play with them. Luckily this post spoke to me, and through the writing of this I have shut down the computer to play with the kids. Which is why it has taken me a week to write it!
Speaking of my kids, I remember one story in particular. Life with a brand new baby and a toddler, who wasn't even two years old yet. I cannot tell you how amazing my older daughter is. She adjusted to life with a new sister extremely well. She wanted attention, but she shared her Mommy and Daddy gracefully. This only made it that much easier to give the baby all of the attention she needed...which, of course, led us to give a bit less attention to our toddler who was used to getting 100% attention from us. On one particular day my toddler was giving me hints that she wanted more attention. She was trying to climb in my lap while the baby was eating, she kept bringing me toys so I could see how great they were, she was pulling on my arm, poking at my leg and every attempt for attention was met with "that's great honey, as soon as the baby is done *eating, changing diaper, putting down for nap, burping, bathing, etc* then I'll have some special time with you. Finally she couldn't take it any more. She stepped back and let out one solitary, forceful, scream at me. It wasn't a temper tantrum, it was the only way she knew how to express her frustration with me and it surprised both of us. It seemed like she hadn't expected to do it, she just opened her mouth and out it came. That was the message I needed, I felt horrible for pushing her away. I put the baby down and ignored the crying to pick up my toddler to hug, kiss and comfort her. She only wanted a snuggle to let her know she was still loved. When we don't listen to the little messages often we will be given a big message to make the point.
In the case of kids, if you listen to them, I've found they are a lot more well behaved (this is not a fool proof plan though, kids will always have their moments). This message of listening also plays into other areas. If you listen to your body, it will give you signs of when it needs attention. There will always be little signs of stress to head off before you blow up. Mother nature gives us signs about how we are treating out world. If we don't listen to the little stuff, the big stuff starts coming out of the woodwork as it builds up. There is always something to listen for. Learning how to pick out what is important is a hard part of this that I'm struggling with, but I'm getting better. Maybe part of this is building intuition. Part of it could be getting priorities straight in life. A big part of it is being okay with letting go of the multitasking part of our lives and taking the time to reflect on ourselves, our families, our friends and our Spirit.
When multitasking listening skills, it is easy to miss out on so many important details; body language to help with the full story, and hidden messages written between the lines. I'm one of those people who have a hard time slowing down to truly appreciate these important details, but I'm getting better at it. One thing I am thankful for is that I don't have a cell phone tying me down. I'm not saying that having a cell phone is bad, however I have yet to go out to run an errand and not see some one talking or texting while their kids are trying to tell them something. While a child's words may not always be important (sometimes they are very much!) the attention we give them is. I find that I really must emphasize here that just because I observe someone on a cell phone does not mean that they are on it all the time, or that they miss messages all the time. I appreciate that what I observe may be a one time deal, or an emergency, but we can't deny that not every person on a cell phone is doing so because it's an emergency. Being able to put the cell phone down, helps us reduce just one more distraction.
I am not perfect, I do not claim to be, I have my issues too. I may not have a cell phone, but my downfall is my computer. When I am home I am either blogging, keeping up with friends on the dreaded Facebook or doing homework. While I do spend time gathering homeschooling materials for my kids, I know I need to shut this dang computer down and go play with them. Luckily this post spoke to me, and through the writing of this I have shut down the computer to play with the kids. Which is why it has taken me a week to write it!
Speaking of my kids, I remember one story in particular. Life with a brand new baby and a toddler, who wasn't even two years old yet. I cannot tell you how amazing my older daughter is. She adjusted to life with a new sister extremely well. She wanted attention, but she shared her Mommy and Daddy gracefully. This only made it that much easier to give the baby all of the attention she needed...which, of course, led us to give a bit less attention to our toddler who was used to getting 100% attention from us. On one particular day my toddler was giving me hints that she wanted more attention. She was trying to climb in my lap while the baby was eating, she kept bringing me toys so I could see how great they were, she was pulling on my arm, poking at my leg and every attempt for attention was met with "that's great honey, as soon as the baby is done *eating, changing diaper, putting down for nap, burping, bathing, etc* then I'll have some special time with you. Finally she couldn't take it any more. She stepped back and let out one solitary, forceful, scream at me. It wasn't a temper tantrum, it was the only way she knew how to express her frustration with me and it surprised both of us. It seemed like she hadn't expected to do it, she just opened her mouth and out it came. That was the message I needed, I felt horrible for pushing her away. I put the baby down and ignored the crying to pick up my toddler to hug, kiss and comfort her. She only wanted a snuggle to let her know she was still loved. When we don't listen to the little messages often we will be given a big message to make the point.
In the case of kids, if you listen to them, I've found they are a lot more well behaved (this is not a fool proof plan though, kids will always have their moments). This message of listening also plays into other areas. If you listen to your body, it will give you signs of when it needs attention. There will always be little signs of stress to head off before you blow up. Mother nature gives us signs about how we are treating out world. If we don't listen to the little stuff, the big stuff starts coming out of the woodwork as it builds up. There is always something to listen for. Learning how to pick out what is important is a hard part of this that I'm struggling with, but I'm getting better. Maybe part of this is building intuition. Part of it could be getting priorities straight in life. A big part of it is being okay with letting go of the multitasking part of our lives and taking the time to reflect on ourselves, our families, our friends and our Spirit.
Friday, June 3, 2011
What About the Pagan Values Project
This is a new concept to me. While I've been a casual, personal blogger for a few years, I've never been active in the blogging communities. I'm slowly breaking in by reading some blogs and reaching out and commenting. Putting my thoughts out there, challenging opinions and being challenged right back. The philosopher in me is in heaven. Recently I heard about the Pagan Values Project. I did a little investigating and found that this is the third year from the project. I also found while there are many people who have embraced this project as a great discussion forum to share beliefs and opinions, challenge their own thoughts and inspire others, there is a population of people who disagree with the project and feel it's intent is to put a border around "Pagan Values" and define what "Pagans" should believe. I personally do not believe this is the intent of the project at all.
To me, this project is about communication. Communication is a personal value of my own, and I also think this is a value of every religion and spiritual path in some way or another. As my own personal value, I look at communication the way to help others understand each other. Whether that be understanding what we need done, how to work together, expectations, expressing feelings; we need communication and this is why I value it so highly. There is an art to communication, sometimes simple as in communicating our basic needs, other times more complicated, such as communicating how depression affects us. As a value held by religions and spiritual paths, communication may be the value people use to identify with communicating with the Divine. Through prayer, ritual, meditation, observation, or any other method. We communicate with the Divine to express our needs, our gratitude, our love, our desires, our celebrations and any other connection we make with the Divine. To me, this project is a great example of a value held by many, Pagan or not. Communication is just one value this project promotes, but there are other such as community, differences, tolerance, Deity and many more.
I do not expect that every Pagan conforms to every value another Pagan has. Rather I look at values as belonging on a continuum. At one end is where a person finds little value to the attribute, on the other end is where a person finds great value to the attribute. There will be some values that many, if not all, Pagans identify with. I do not think that there should be a boundary placed around these values, but it is a great starting place to help answer the question of "what do Pagan's believe?" I also acknowledge that because we are not placing boundaries around what "Pagan Values" are, it means we know that we are ever evolving. There will always be growth, and this project helps to promote this growth, both on a personal, individual level, as well as growth among the Pagan community itself. Personal growth is another value that I hold higher up on the continuum of values, and I'm sure there are many people who feel the same way.
Defining values as belonging to "Pagans" or "Christians" is another argument I've noticed as I browsed through some discussions of values. My view on this is that a value by definition is an attribute or belief held by a specific culture. There is Pagan culture and there is Christian culture, as well as hundreds of other religions who have their own culture also. When someone identifies something as "XXXX Value" it does not mean they are laying ownership to that value, only that it is found within a grouping of values held by many of that culture. This means that the same value can overlap among several different religions or spiritual paths. It is important to understand this designation because there may be some values that are shared, but some values that are not shared. This is just another way to categorize things. For the blogging world, you might compare it to tagging. One blog post may be tagged with 1, 2 and 3. And the next tagged with 2, 4, and 6. Both blogs hold the tag of 2, but the other tags are a difference between them. It doesn't mean one is better than the other, just that there are similarities and differences. This is another value I hold, celebrating the similarities and differences among all people. Multiculturalism is a great thing and it is being more widely accepted everyday.
These are just a few of my points supporting this project and I think it will be a great forum for discussion to build and celebrate our similarities and differences.
Bright Blessings,
~Ava
To me, this project is about communication. Communication is a personal value of my own, and I also think this is a value of every religion and spiritual path in some way or another. As my own personal value, I look at communication the way to help others understand each other. Whether that be understanding what we need done, how to work together, expectations, expressing feelings; we need communication and this is why I value it so highly. There is an art to communication, sometimes simple as in communicating our basic needs, other times more complicated, such as communicating how depression affects us. As a value held by religions and spiritual paths, communication may be the value people use to identify with communicating with the Divine. Through prayer, ritual, meditation, observation, or any other method. We communicate with the Divine to express our needs, our gratitude, our love, our desires, our celebrations and any other connection we make with the Divine. To me, this project is a great example of a value held by many, Pagan or not. Communication is just one value this project promotes, but there are other such as community, differences, tolerance, Deity and many more.
I do not expect that every Pagan conforms to every value another Pagan has. Rather I look at values as belonging on a continuum. At one end is where a person finds little value to the attribute, on the other end is where a person finds great value to the attribute. There will be some values that many, if not all, Pagans identify with. I do not think that there should be a boundary placed around these values, but it is a great starting place to help answer the question of "what do Pagan's believe?" I also acknowledge that because we are not placing boundaries around what "Pagan Values" are, it means we know that we are ever evolving. There will always be growth, and this project helps to promote this growth, both on a personal, individual level, as well as growth among the Pagan community itself. Personal growth is another value that I hold higher up on the continuum of values, and I'm sure there are many people who feel the same way.
Defining values as belonging to "Pagans" or "Christians" is another argument I've noticed as I browsed through some discussions of values. My view on this is that a value by definition is an attribute or belief held by a specific culture. There is Pagan culture and there is Christian culture, as well as hundreds of other religions who have their own culture also. When someone identifies something as "XXXX Value" it does not mean they are laying ownership to that value, only that it is found within a grouping of values held by many of that culture. This means that the same value can overlap among several different religions or spiritual paths. It is important to understand this designation because there may be some values that are shared, but some values that are not shared. This is just another way to categorize things. For the blogging world, you might compare it to tagging. One blog post may be tagged with 1, 2 and 3. And the next tagged with 2, 4, and 6. Both blogs hold the tag of 2, but the other tags are a difference between them. It doesn't mean one is better than the other, just that there are similarities and differences. This is another value I hold, celebrating the similarities and differences among all people. Multiculturalism is a great thing and it is being more widely accepted everyday.
These are just a few of my points supporting this project and I think it will be a great forum for discussion to build and celebrate our similarities and differences.
Bright Blessings,
~Ava
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