Time to Reset

So, the culmination of my stressful year is coming to an end. I am strongly hoping the door will not open to a new series of stressful events, however things are looking about 50/50. I won't go into the details on what might or might not happen. I am aware of the future possibilities, because it would be ignorant not to acknowledge them, however I intend to keep my focus on the positive possibilities, with a close eye on any potential kinks in the plan to head off any downward spirals.

Here are the positives, my husband is returning from Afghanistan next month! It has been a difficult year, but I've somehow managed to get through it. I have been asked to help found a new non-profit organization. While this will not be a paying job, I don't care. It is for an amazingly great cause and the experience will be more valuable than any paid job I could find. I will get to employ my research skills as well as learn some more management techniques. The home base is halfway across the country, but I'm hoping to make a road trip and meet the families the organization helps in the future. I know we can make this a great thing, I have complete faith in all of the wonderful women in this with me. Also, in terms of money, since I'll need something to help out in the wallet, I've started selling Pure Romance, and so far it's going well. My name is getting out there, and I have a few tricks up my sleeve to market more. I think things are going to be going well for me here in the next few months!

Now for a little spiritual spin, I need to refocus. I always say that, but right now I really want to. One thing I really need to do is concentrate on myself. Figure out who I am deep down, and I want to find a matron/patron deity that speaks to me. I've always focused on the Lord and Lady, with no specific name, however I can tell, lately, that it is time to find a more specific connection. The Lord and Lady will always be a part of my life, however this distinction is getting into a whole different post that I will tackle at a later time.

I'm looking forward for my husband to come home, not just to see him, because I miss him like crazy, but because he acknowledges I need some time away from everything. He knows I need a vacation, even if that means, me lounging in bed all day without any worries of the house. Just time to do what I want, when I want...and a lot of that time is going to be spent in reflection of myself, spiritually, physically and emotionally.

Waffles, Ice Cream and Spirit

I read somewhere, in an article about coping when a military spouse is deployed, that it is okay to have waffles and ice cream for dinner. So what does this mean? Because my spouse is gone, it's okay to not eat so good? It's okay to not care about my kids nutrition? Or even that maybe it's the only thing that tastes good, so nah.

Well, while I wouldn't put complete truths into anything but that last one (my healthy cooking always tastes good!), the truth of the matter is, it's okay not to get everything done. It's okay to be mellow. It's okay to take a day or two during the week and not feel the need to prepare a hot dinner that takes an hour or so to make (that's the norm when I cook). Hey, this statement doesn't even stop at food. It's okay not to have the house white glove clean. It's okay to skip the vacuuming for just one day (or two or three). What about the laundry. As long as everyone has something clean to wear, it will still be there tomorrow.

Who is watching this Martha Stewart life I'm attempting to create for myself? I have yet to catch my neighbors peering into my house through the grime on the windows. The friends I do have who come over don't seem to mind, and if they do, they keep their mouth shut. I've even had friends come over and help me out a bit with the cleaning (thanks guys, you have no idea how much I appreciate it!). Sometimes I need to be given permission not to be perfect (far from it I am!). If you ask my husband, he will tell you I am perfect the way I am, even if I do think I have flaws (I do), he looks right past them.

While I don't want to live in a pig pen, I also don't want to spend all of my life cleaning my house or caring about those little things that really don't matter in the end. I want to spend my time with the things that do matter. I want to play with my kids, read the great words written by others, explore my hobbies and talents, try new things and just enjoy life. If you spend all of your time worrying about what other people think of your house, even though the majority of them will never see it, that seems to be a waste of time and a hard knock on the spirit.

I say, recognize when a day just needs to be a lazy day and run with it. If that means waffles and ice cream for dinner, then it's waffles and ice cream for dinner. I'm sure your spirit will thank you.